Scotland's leading wicket-taker Haq opens up on seven years of trauma

Scotland’s leading wicket-taker Majid Haq was sent home from the 2015 Cricket World Cup in disgrace after race-related tweet and never played for his country again… but after their board agreed to lift his NDA, he opens up on seven long years of trauma

• Majid Haq was banished from the Scotland squad at the 2015 Cricket World Cup  
• He was put on a plane home from Down Under, never to play for his nation again
• Drained mentally and financially, he signed a non-disclosure agreement in 2016
• Leading wicket-taker Haq insists he signed during a period of immense difficulty
• Last year, the 39-year-old accused Cricket Scotland of ‘institutional racism’

He should be relishing the bounties of international sport: a role model for youngsters who looked up to his sporting prowess with pride and admiration. Instead, Scotland’s all-time leading wicket-taker is staring across at me, pain and weariness etched across his face.

Since being banished from the Cricket World Cup in 2015, Majid Haq has struggled with depression, binge-eating and intense loneliness. He continues to suffer from the trauma and emotional battering of being silenced and forgotten about by the sport to which he devoted his life.

Now, after seven long years, he will finally be able to tell his story after Cricket Scotland agreed to lift the non-disclosure agreement he signed in 2016.

Majid Haq was banished from the Cricket World Cup in 2015 after a race-related tweet

The 39-year-old has struggled with depression, binge-eating and intense loneliness since

‘I’m obviously very happy to hear my NDA will be lifted completely,’ Haq told Sportsmail. ‘It’s a relief as well. I’m quite tired of everything that’s been going on. I’m really happy with the support from those close to me who have kept me going, not just from the investigation that started three months ago. The last seven years have been very, very tough.’

The former Scotland international was sent home from the 2015 Cricket World Cup in disgrace after posting a race-related tweet during the event. It stated ‘always tougher when you’re in the minority! #colour #race’ in reference to being left out of a match against Sri Lanka.

He was subsequently put on a plane home, never to play for his country again. His action, according to Cricket Scotland, ‘amounted to unprofessional conduct likely to bring Cricket Scotland into disrepute’.

An initial suspension was lifted after lawyer Aamer Anwar became involved. The cricketer had been led to believe he would face a tribunal, but was informed by then chief executive Willie Donald that he was free to return and there would be ‘no further action’. Despite this, a position within the national side never materialised.

He was subsequently put on a plane home, never to play for his country Scotland again

‘It was just a tick-box exercise,’ said Haq. ‘By the September, I was on gardening leave for three months, just to run out the contract. I had an issue with my fitness, I had poor mental health. I had always had weight issues, but I was up and down and, when I was stressed and depressed, I started comfort eating and not going out much.’

Drained mentally and financially, he eventually signed a non- disclosure agreement with the governing body — which prevented him talking to anyone about the circumstances leading up to and around his Scotland demise.

Last year, the 39-year-old accused Cricket Scotland of ‘institutional racism’ — prompting calls for an investigation into its processes.

An Independent Review within Scottish cricket was instigated by SportScotland, with Plan4Sport — a team of experts on equality, diversity and inclusion — leading the investigation. For Haq, this had important implications. To tell his story, his NDA would have to be lifted.

At first glance, the signs looked positive. When asked about his NDA in December 2021, Cricket Scotland told Sportsmail: ‘If there is anyone who believes he or she has entered into an agreement with us (including a former employee) that creates formal limitations on the way in which you are able to share information with the Review and the Review team, we would ask that you contact us. We will be very willing to agree a mutual relaxation of any such contractual restrictions.’

That ‘relaxation’ was revealed to have limits. Far from being released from his agreement, Haq was told the ‘lifting’ would pertain solely to the Review. Once he’d spoken to the team at Plan4Sport, it would then be reinstated.

An initial suspension was lifted after lawyer Aamer Anwar (front) became involved

Chief executive Willie Donald said he was free to return and there would be ‘no further action’

Haq was disgusted by the move, while a horrified Anwar complained to Cricket Scotland in a letter seen by Sportsmail. ‘They just wanted me to speak to the investigation team but not speak out publicly at all,’ said Haq. ‘It would be done anonymously, too, rather than in my own name. Then I’d be straight back on the NDA once the investigation was over.

‘I thought it was utter rubbish and it was quite a stressful time because I wanted to give my side of the story and speak to the investigation team but I felt like I was being restricted. So this is a massive weight off my shoulders.

‘I’m happy to speak out and give my side of it. It’s a once-in-a- lifetime investigation, so let’s do it properly now.’

As with all non-disclosure agreements, it has to be acknowledged that Haq opted to sign the deal in the first instance. It was a bi-lateral agreement where Haq was essentially ‘paid off’ to keep quiet.

Haq does not run away from this but insists he signed during a period of immense difficulty.

‘When I signed it, I was in a bad place,’ he said. ‘I didn’t really know 100 per cent what I could say or do. Looking back, obviously, I didn’t have a job then either.

‘I was struggling for money and my mental health was in a bad place. Physically, I wasn’t great either.

‘So it seemed like something to do — to just draw a line underneath everything. However, I didn’t understand the repercussions or how hard that would hit me, for that length of time. I’m glad now it’s being officially lifted so I can speak more openly and let things out that I’ve kept inside for almost a decade.’

Haq had reached out to Cricket Scotland before signing the agreement, asking for help, but was told there was no budget available to provide him with assistance. He spiralled into a perilous cycle where binge-eating and taking tablets for depression became a necessity,

‘I’d finish one of those big boxes of Ferrero Rocher in one day,’ he admitted. ‘I’d eat a pack of biscuits and Nutella. I put on so much weight. When I was playing, I was probably around 14 stone and I went up to 19 stone. I was so heavy and that has an effect on your confidence and everything else. It wasn’t great.

‘I had no real support from Cricket Scotland. We asked for help with counselling and to speak to a psychologist — but they said they didn’t have the funding. Looking at it now, in 2022, that would be unheard of. Yet that was only seven years ago.

‘For your employers to say that to you, that was tough to hear. You’d never be able to say that these days. You’d get sued.’

Last year, the 39-year-old former spinner accused Cricket Scotland of ‘institutional racism’

After signing the NDA, the Paisley-born international was supported by Anwar and close family during a burgeoning time of personal crisis.

‘They really helped me get through things. I like to keep things to myself and I keep things bottled up. A lot of men do that and then explode. I just tried to get on with it,’ he recalled.

‘With the cricket career, it was my passion, something I loved doing. I loved playing and performing and to do that on the international stage was brilliant.

‘In 2015, I had just turned 32 and, as a spinner, you feel you can play longer than that. I’d just become Scotland’s leading wicket-taker of all time, I’d just become Scotland’s most capped cricketer of all time and, all of a sudden, it was all taken away from me.

‘I struggled for a long, long time — I still struggle to this day, thinking my career was definitely cut short and there was no way of bringing me back. I was still performing but I never had the chance to get back in ever again thanks to a tweet.’

Haq found a way back in via the club circuit, playing for Royal High Corstorphine and, more recently, Prestwick. He had been playing at Clydesdale since 2009 when his international career came to a grinding halt.

‘They gave me no support, either,’ he said. ‘That made things so much worse. I’d played for them for a long time and in 2015 became captain. We won the league — the Western Premier Division — and the following year won both the League and the Scottish Cup — something the club hadn’t done in almost 40 years.

‘It felt like they just didn’t want to be associated with me after what happened at Cricket Scotland.’

Haq signed a non-disclosure agreement in 2016 ‘during a period of immense difficulty’

Since then, finding work and paid employment has been difficult. The impact of both his dismissal from the World Cup and the loss of his international career have been huge in terms of financial stability — and he continues to feel the effects.

‘I did a degree in accounting in 2008 and then became a professional cricketer, so to try and get back into it ten to 14 years later is tough,’ he stated.

‘You don’t get anything easily and if you read something about me — the World Cup stuff, for example — employers probably look at that and ask themselves if they want that guy on board. It has definitely hindered my opportunities.

‘I’m of a certain age and I want to get married and settle down but I’m living with my parents. That’s great, don’t get me wrong — but financially there have been really tough times as well.’

Haq is now expected to speak to the Review team investigating racism in Scottish Cricket. He is keen to do so, to tell his side of the story and to ascertain how serious they are about rooting out a problem he feels is endemic in the sport.

‘Only time will tell how deep-rooted it actually is, so the findings will be interesting when the report comes out in July,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to get too carried away and praise them too highly in case it comes back to bite us all. I’d still like to see them doing more.’

Haq is now expected to speak to the Review team investigating racism in Scottish Cricket

There is real hope, however, that this review will result in numerous changes within the sport itself in Scotland. Not only in terms of diversity and inclusion, but in terms of governance.

‘There needs to be a complete change in Scotland, from top to bottom,’ Haq said. ‘A massive change in every region. It’s going to take a long time to build trust and understanding and we need everyone to be working together to make it a better place in general. There are a lot of class issues, too. It can be quite elitist and expensive. Let’s make this a sport for everyone.

‘Do I have faith and trust in that happening? It’s a very difficult question to answer. You become more cynical with the experiences you have.

‘They don’t give you too much encouragement or optimism, but time will tell. Hopefully, one day, we will get there.’

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